Pool Party! written by: Phineas (the shark)
NOT FOR EVERYONE! written by: Mrs. Sarah Palfrey (the claremont)
Well, WHY NOT?!! written by: Gab Bonesso M.D. (doctor of madness)
This upcoming Labor Day we are having a party. Scratch that. A POOL party (to be exact).
My mother has informed us (me, Phineas and Mrs. Palfrey) that we are only permitted to invite 5 guests a piece. Phineas has already tried to "trade me" for a few guest slots. Apparently, some of his vegan friends from the Co-Op have children and 5 guests is not enough to invite them AND their little monsters. I don't care. That is the price he pays for having (a) a job and (b) co-workers.
Speaking of co-workers, Mrs. Palfrey and I don't have any. So there.
Also, I hate people/sharks who feel compelled to invite "work" friends to "family" events. GROSS. Find some real friends, ASSHOLE.
Mom said that if we keep arguing over our guest lists then the party will be cancelled due to Hurricane Irene and God's wrath. No. Wait. Michelle Bachman said that, not Mom.
Speaking of Michelle Bachman...
Like I said... She's paranormal. Also, she will NOT be invited to our pool party.
Mrs. Palfrey just sent me a text message that reads: git'N'lucky.
God, I wish she were texting from the Casino... Alas.
Oh, I forgot to mention that I read an amazing book while I was on holiday. It's called: John McIntire's journal. RIVETING. I found it most enjoyable with a few cocktails in my system, but all in all, a very enjoyable, quick read.
Finally, I've mentioned in the past that I could potentially be a descendant of John Brown.
Well, recently while I was in New England I visited Brown University. (no relation) Well, I insisted that they meet with me (because I was convinced that we were related). They did not meet with me. (i was wrong.) However, I walked around the campus and it reminded me of The Secret Garden:
Then I walked outside of The Secret Garden and I saw this:
NON-DAIRY SOFT SERVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Did I mention that I'm lactose intolerant?
As I walked out of the Secret Garden, a dream that I've had since my diagnosis in 1996 was there in front of me. I slowly approached the purple van and a wacky, hippy lady greeted me. She noticed that I seemed shocked. I explained that I had never seen non-dairy soft serve before yet I've dreamt of it forever. She told me that she is the ONLY non-dairy soft serve in the country!
Anyway, if you are lactose intolerant or a vegan like Phineas then you should check out:
www.like-no-udder.com
In the meantime... Visit me on:
YOUTUBE
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