The Imaginary Reality of Gab Bonesso: TB or not TB, That IS the Question!

Next show: Tuesday, May 10th at The Brillobox. Tickets are $5/FREE to students with I.D.

Hey Everyone,

Phineas, Palfrey and I are writing to you today from the TB Clinic in Rome.

Yes, we have TB.

Maybe.

Our symptoms began a week ago while we were celebrating Easter in Rome with the Pope.

Not that Pope. Viola Pope, a woman whom I used to work with at Mercy Hospital.

Yes, I used to work in a hospital.

Yes, I saved MANY lives.

I worked in the medical library making photocopies while my work-study boss stared at my bum.

Often, the photocopies were from the American Cancer Journal. So yeah. I guess you can say that I was part-time Oncologist.

You're welcome.

Anyway, the first symptom arrived on Easter Sunday. Phineas, Palfrey, Viola and I were listening to Jesus Christ Superstar and eating hard boiled eggs when Palfrey began to cough like a cig smoker.

At first, Phinny and I were embarrassed by our friend's violent coughing. I mean, it's hard getting people to understand why Phinny and I dig hanging out with a 86 year old lady so when she actually acts old it pisses us off.

We love hanging with Palfrey for a multitude of reasons. First, she always carries hard tact candy in her purse. Second, she's got an accent. Third, she's rich as shit. Fourth, I've watched her kill a man with nothing but her bare hands.

Anyway, about a minute after Palfrey starting coughing Phinny and I both joined in. Viola was disgusted and told us that we were disinvited from her Easter dinner. She mentioned a TB clinic down the road. She also burned her couch. I hope that was unrelated.

When we arrived at the TB Clinic we were surprised to see so many fellow Americans.

Although, who else would be staying at the Terry Bradshaw Clinic?

It's AMAZING here.

They serve us Primanti sandwiches for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

We drink Iron City all day.

We watch old Pittsburgh Steeler Superbowl games on loop.

Our beds are made with all Terrible Towel material.

Rusted Root just played a house show for us!

We may never leave.

We just wanted to let you know that if we are not at my upcoming shows this month it's because we're "ill". (Note: We're not the Webster Dictionary definition of ill rather the Urban dictionary which states: Ill - {adj.} Having great skill or skills with respect to a particular endeavor.)

So long for now. Or. Forever.

Your pals,

Gab, Phineas (the shark) and Mrs. Palfrey

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